in the midst of construction
{
}
profile
tagboard
entries
links
your profile here[:!
10:52 pm, Sunday, August 24, 2008
post number 456 on eyegummy-.blogspot.com. (: it'd been a great journey here,
but alas,
i'm moving on to somewhere better. (:
http://precisepolaroids.wordpress.com
thanks for all the wonderful memories shared on this blog (:
9:48 am, Wednesday, August 20, 2008
this is the number 455 post i have on this blog. (: much to say, but my thoughts just cant be put into words.
i dont know how.
all i can say, is that i'm on the road of recovery.
and i'd be bouncing back before you know it.
must be the wonderful bike ride, and waffles galore! :D
but yet there's this side of me, that's afraid to lose.
haha like how grey's anatomy according to yiwei puts it,
"it's good to be afraid. it means that you've got something to lose".
dont make sense, but sounds so philosophical right!!!! (:
anw, i was taking the LONG circle back home from buangkok mrt home yesterday (not the walk straight down the slope home in 10min road), took me 40min, in the rain. it was a really good feeling considering the fact that i was so bottled up i guess. haha and i couldnt go cycling and all ): so this alternative was the best that i could go. was thinking about the past, and all those times where i'd be going out every single day after school, to meet different people, to maintain relationships and all, and just to like, have a life. what was i trying to prove man? to show that i can balance my work and play? to show that i have a life and all? yesterday, i stepped into city hall for the first time in like how many weeks. and the moment i tap my card, it felt so good. it was something like homecoming (okay im insane), and everything just reminded me of those days, where such places were the usual hangouts after school. i felt a little sad, like i've not much time to go out nowadays, and everyone's so busy anyway. but yet, i was really really contented, about how i've been spending the days recently with the ones i really really care about, and i dont regret spending my time with them. (: i'd rather spend all my life, just lazing around with my dear ones nearby, than meet different people every single day and trying to find out what's going on in their lives.
that said, it's not that im not gonna catch up with my dear friends and all, it's just that, i've never realised how tired i was doing so for the first few months of this year. but but but, i wont not catch up with people and all, because, i need to do so. i want and need to have all these relationships in my life, without which, how would i survive? ironic isnt it? i guess all i need is to escape (as usual) from the world, take a lill break, and i'd be up and around in no time. (:
i used to be damn sad over the fact that i thought that i had no friends, when i scroll down my phonebook for someone to call at night, or people to meet up with after school. you can say i've changed, you can say i've grown, but now, i guess i dont really find the need to do so anymore. and anyone who i call out now, would genuinely be for the sake of catching up and just having fun, keeping the flames of the friendship going (not like i've havent been doing this genuinely in the past, it's just that there was this certain point in time, when i got so jadded that meet up sessions became routine, and i no longer felt the excitement of seeing people whom i've havent met for like a month). which sucks.
now, im really grateful for having found the bestest soulmate alive, who would stick through it all with me, and fight the world by my side. (: and that, matters.
was thinking of moving away from blogspot so that i can actually lock my posts. but my livejournal username is stupid, and livejournal's skins are like EW. anw, so i very impulsly created a wordpress account. which according to stupid stitch sounds twitty. and yea, im undecided on the new name for my blog.
that said,
i guess i'd be moving really soon. (:
10:37 pm, Sunday, August 17, 2008
it's just me.at the end of the day, it's just me.
the cause of it all.
so why do you even care?
screw the world.
9:34 am, Thursday, August 14, 2008
i'm totally convinced that blogs are facadestalking face to face/on the phone is so much better.
and more real.
"we all have our own problems.
and we fear to get judged by the world because of them"
true?
8:50 am,
i am no saint.so dont impose your expectations on me.
because i'm afraid i wont be able to live up to them.
dont make me try to conform to your way of life.
because it takes time to adapt, and i cannot afford to waste any.
dont make me try to see things the way you see them.
because i think my perspectives had been altered.
stop pushing me to the brink.
because i think im about to crash and burn.
i dont wish to disappoint you and break your heart.
i just need some space to breathe.
some time to mend the broken heart.
the broken soul.
and find myself back again.
thinking of escaping is one thing, actually doing it is another.
and the latter would be the braver one to do. but the former, the more sensible path.
take me away.
the hear already will cry song of the moment, sadly no one will sing it for me ):
Savage Garden - Crash and Burn
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
Its hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you cant take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump Ill break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
Youre not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
Youre caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you cant face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump Ill break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
Youre not alone
And there has always been heartache and pain
And when its over youll breathe again
Youll breath again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump Ill break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
Youre not alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
Its hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you cant take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump Ill break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
Youre not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
Youre caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you cant face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump Ill break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
Youre not alone
And there has always been heartache and pain
And when its over youll breathe again
Youll breath again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump Ill break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
Youre not alone
and this song had been stuck in my head since i dunno when.
Corrine May - If i kissed you
If I kissed you
Would fireworks fly
Woud angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If I kissed you.
If I kissed you
What would Michaelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalized in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If I kissed you
You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But l guess I'll never know if I never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms and kiss you.
If I kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If I kissed you.
Oh, if I kissed you
Yeah, if I kissed you.
Would fireworks fly
Woud angels sing with lollipops
Would dinosaurs cry
Would babies all gurgle in laughter and surprise
If I kissed you.
If I kissed you
What would Michaelangelo say
Would he still have sculpted David
Would we be immortalized in clay
Would the poets write of love like ours
Would John Donne have his say
If I kissed you
You could be one in a million
You could be the one for me
But l guess I'll never know if I never try
I guess I'll just have to grab you in my arms and kiss you.
If I kissed you
Would you lose track of time
Would you feel a surge of happiness
Running up your spine
Would you run naked in the street
with a tattoo of my name on your behind
If I kissed you.
Oh, if I kissed you
Yeah, if I kissed you.
5:10 pm, Friday, August 08, 2008
"Find out what you want, imagine things as you want them, build new ideas of life, stop believing that some people are lucky and some must be poor, change your ideas and find that life is a beautiful adventure, that each day brings new opportunities to those who will lift their eyes above the everyday grind. "
- Venice Bloodworth
9:58 pm, Thursday, August 07, 2008
the pen is mightier than the sword.words hurt.
):
i'll bounce back.
someday.
where are you when i need you?
):
i wish time would stop.
and rewind.
all the way back.
to the before-tj days.
):
i am not gonna say life sucks.
because sucks is not the word to use.
it seems worse than that.
i dont know why i get so affected over such shit stuff.
but a part of me actually thinks i do know.
):
it's all actually very small issues.
but i hate it when it all comes together.
all at the same time.
hello lor,
and i especially hate it,
when you dont even want to check things clearly first,
you anyhow assume.
anyhow impose your assumptions on me.
use your shit ass attitude on me.
i dont think you have the rights to judge me based on what you perceive.
and anyhow go tarnish my image based on your own narrow point of view.
i dont even know why you are doing that for.
and isolating me out of your little world.
yea fine, be that way.
because, i'll only be stronger than you can ever imagine.
and if you think the above stabs you enough,
well, actual fact is the above x20.
shit ass world.
shit ass stuffS
shit ass timing
shit ass.
i dont know how to survive at school without you. ):
One Step At A Time - Jordin Sparks
Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you’ve always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can’t touch
You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you’re gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you’re feeling more and more frustrated
And you’re getting all kind of impatient waiting
[Chorus]
We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen and it’s
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
On step at a time
You believe and you doubt
You’re confused, you got it all figured out
Everything that you wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew
You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you’re gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you’re feeling more and more frustrated
And you’re getting all kind of impatient waiting
[Chorus]
We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen and it’s
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
On step at a time
When you can’t wait any longer
But there’s no end in sight
It’s the faith that makes you stronger
The only way you get there
Is one step at a time
[Chorus]
Take one step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen and it’s
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
On step at a time
3:06 pm, Wednesday, August 06, 2008
www.mymms.comi totally LOVE this. haha as if im not a die hard m&ms fan already, this one totally blew me away! :D :D :D OMG i'll marry whoever who buys me this! (so materialistic eh! haha)
m&ms are best for cheering me up. (: (:
4:13 pm, Tuesday, August 05, 2008
it's always when i have loads to say and i dont know where to start, when i will use numberings for my blog posts. (: i think numberings are good for the soul. oh wells. here we go.1. taiwanese buddy arrived in singapore on sat. haha. shall upload the photos up soon! but meanwhile, here's what we'd done so far for the past few days :)
26th july: went to pick her up from moe edutorium which was freaking far. but before that, it was SPEECH DAY @ CRESCENT. omg and surprisingly, i didnt feel a single thing at all. no homecoming mood nothing. haha although i do miss the train rides with my dear cloney in the mornings ): guess it's cuz i keep going back, until it's like so normal for me alrdy. usually i'll be really really excited, my heart's pumping and all that shit. took tons of pics (which are in pokxy's camera, send me okay winks!) and zoom zoom off to have lunch with the 4g2 gang and buy a welcome gift for the taiwan buddy! ohoh btw, her name is xinrou. so yeah (: and she's really nice. and shopaholic material? yeah cant wait to go shop over there omg! the whole exchange gift process was so weird because we just had to go on the stage and do it, in front of all the moe people and taiwan ambassador person. haha. lucky her, my cousin was getting married at night, so we chionged to this wedding dinner, before going off to the night festival at the musuem (: OMG. the whole picture reflected on the museum building itself was really really nice. and beatnik picnic by zouk was good. and yup, details after this shall not me mentioned. but oh well, i didnt spend the night with my buddy in the end, because she wanted to go home and sleep. so i sent her back to sleep, and reached home the latest (or rather, earliest) in my entire life. (:
27th july: haha we just went party world with the rest of the taiwan people from tj. and took like neoprints, and we went home for dinner i think? yeah. inserts HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUIGUI balloons here. (:
28th july: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR LEE. i really miss him teaching me math a lot. esp with ___ around now, oh crap. i swear i never hated maths so much before. xinrou's first day at sch. haha attended some lessons with us, and the system was so different so i guess they were very very amused. they collected the tj uniform and all, and yup, after that we went home for some singapore food i think. sorry cant really remember cuz it was like so long ago. and i had pizza hut for lunch HAHA. i love pizza hut.
29th july: i cant believe it. it was pizza hut AGAIN for lunch. with angel. had to go for this welcome dinner at meritus mandrin at night, and it was really really good! like 10 course meal, with a lot a lot of performances by the taiwan schools, nj, hwa chong and rj. haha edweewee was SO CUTE. (:
30th july: haha no matter how early i end sch, i had to stay and wait so so long for the buddies to be done with their after school activities, like cricket, floorball, oac adventure tower etc etc. anyhows, nothing much eventful, just had eclub which was like whoo! (insert sigh of relief) and ate out at tampines mall where she bought many many cute cute items home. and i got her farewell present, which, i've yet to start doing. SO DEAD. haha it's more worth it for them to shop for small gifts here because clothes are just so not worth it. i cant wait to go over and buy tons of clothes, and accessories, and shoes and all, haha not so much of the studying and sight seeing though. just shop shop shop.
31st july: swensens' at airport after school. HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIMIKO. haha it was to celebrate rimiko's bday. took tons and tons of pics, got much closer to some of the taiwan people. and i cant believe we spent like 1h+ counting the bill. AND taiwanese arent used to staying out late! haha like 8pm want to go home alrdy, oh well, i hope it will be fun there man. can u imagine, like 8pm go home from the night market? ): haha.
1st august: ohohoh school was a dread today. wth. singfest tickets were gone. and so were many other intangible things. like friendships. but like what angel said, hello ah, if they be my friend just for the singfest tickets, then im utterly disappointed. ): haiz i dont know. life is so f****ed up. okay i dont usually swear. so yeah, i guess im really getting more vulgar nowadays. shit. someone snap me outta it. went to thaipan for the 1st time in my entire life today. the butter squid was really good! and ice cream chefs with the girls after that. haha hate that area, cannot get cab one. oh wells, anw, like 3/4 of the activities are spent with the taiwan people from tj, and it had been really really quite fun, just tiring and all
2nd august: sentosa! im burnt like crap. my nose is peeling. haha got dumped into the sea, and and played volleyball. got closer to more of the taiwan people, and yup, it was quite fun! :D went over to my grandma's house after that with xinrou, haha she was totally amused at my cousin and all. and after that, it was off to angel's house for a stayover! (without my buddy, oh crap i feel so bad for dumping her behind, but this is like once in a lifetime so yea, and she didnt want to come! ): ) details cannot be leaked here. can ask me if ya want (: we slept very very late (or should i say early) and i totally stayed until after lunch.
3rd august: before chionging home to change. and off to town again to take neos with xinrou and my sis, and for her to try the ice cream wrapped in bread. and then chionged off to pierce her ear. and then off to the singapore flyer which was OMG nice but overrated. ): i wanted to puke. and it's like $1 per minute. DAMN. but the sunset from up there was really nice! just that it was foggy and i couldnt see indonesia. but come to think of it, why would i want to see indonesia?!
4th august: had lesson observation as part of the experience teaching through service learning scheme by moe at temasek primary. omg the p5 kids were so cute! was utterly pissed off today again, by some shitass issue. anw, let's not talk about that, and and we went to tampines mall again to eat. haha. supposed to watch money no enough with the taiwan people, but my buddy had work to do instead (like do a powerpoint slide for the farewell dinner this wed, i hope i wont cry or smth)
5th august: 2.4 run today. crap. my timing was bad. (our favourite number is, um, 99) HAHA guess my position! no point for guessing it right! (: lesson observation again later. p1 kids. just realised i have tons and tons of work to do, just that i'd been procrastinating non stop. once they go home, it's no more play and more work. sucks man.
this whole immersion thing is definitely more fun than the hangzhou one i had at the end of sec3. oh man. at least taiwanese kids have more of a life! (: shall send them off at the airport on thursday. and i'm gonna TRY and get into my study mode. because...
2. it's 7 weeks to promos! -screams
3. im super worried for pokxy. haven't been talking to her for so so long. and things doesnt seem too good. but no matter what, hang in there pal, im always here and you know it. :D
4. i really want to go for a sleepover again. ):
5. i guess we all have a secret life. do you? because i think i do. and not many people know about it, except like lets say, omg 1?! yeah. it's this side of you that you cannot show to the world because they will judge you for it. you will lose your credibility (not to say i have any to start with) and people will start viewing you in a different light. it is this side that you try to hide. and one day, perhaps, someone else will know.
6. i've found the reason for me to not die so fast. (:
7. thank you for showing me the world. thank you for all the fun times and wonderful memories. though short it may be, it's the longest journey of both self discovery and exposure ever in my entire life. thank you for all the joy and crazy moments. thank you for all the time spent with me. thank you for loving me for who i am. i love you, alaska. (:
8. come to think of which, i've been seeing ___ _____ for like almost all 7 days a week for the past say, 6 weeks?! omg.
9. hello, and if you think im attatched just because facebook says so. or that i am like glued to my phone or smth in school, just to let you know, im not. (:
what if i turn bi?
4:10 pm, Friday, August 01, 2008
im alone at the airport now, frantically trying to change money so that i can go back to school. because, I JUST LOST MY EZ LINK CARD. DAMMIT. ):while, trying to destress to extra shot caramel frap at starbucks, and mashed potatoes and cheesecake bites at popeyes later.
DAMN.